Forum Foil-Hatters Rage Against CA’s Ratings
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/karinroland/kevin/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82
Most folks I encounter on cigar forums are pleasant, thoughtful and entertaining. But every community has its share of wankers. Conveniently, they seem to have grouped themselves into easily detected stereotypes. Stop me when one of these characters sounds familiar:
(1) The Cigar Bandologist who rejoices in telling everyone, based on a blurry cell phone photo, that their Cubans are counterfeit. See that little spec on the band below the letter H? (Lens dust.) Aha! Fake! Every time. You see, Dr. Bandology has a simple rule — your Habanos are all fake, and his are all real.
(2) The guy who has never smoked a Cuban cigar, yet insists they’re overrated. Further, anyone who enjoys them is a victim of James Suckling’s Mind Control Machine, which cranks out low frequency radio waves from a wine cellar in the south of France.
(3) Finally, the conspiracy theorist who seizes on the flimsiest excuse to start another “Cigar Aficionado’s Ratings Are Corrupt” thread. This proud LaRouche voter has it “from a big name in the industry” that manufacturers who don’t advertise in the magazine get no rating higher than 78, blah, blah. He never has any evidence, mind you. But anyone who doesn’t buy this foil hat muckraker’s BS is flamed.
It’s this last sort who got my attention this past weekend. I came across a thread entitled “Cigar Aficionado and Tatuaje,” which read as follows:
I don’t get it… I was reading the new edition of Cigar Aficionado today. I could not believe I did not see ANY Tatuaje cigars rated. There were some BS cigars that don’t even come close to a Tatuaje. I guess Pete is not lining Marvin Shankin’s (sic) pockets to get those 90+ ratings. Way to go Pete!
So let me get this straight. CA let an issue — one issue — go by without a Tatuaje review. Therefore, Darth Shanken is an extortionist and Pete Johnson is a hero of the resistance? Wow.
But that’s not the worst of it. A dozen parrots piled on to whine about “payola.” Still others tightened their Reynolds Wrap helmets (or AFDBs) and spouted battle cries like “I don’t need a magazine to tell me what… to smoke.”
The highlight came when a guy with seven posts coolly noted that while there were no Tatuajes in this issue, another of Pete’s brands, La Riqueza, received a flattering 89.
Oblivious that they’d just been owned by an unassuming noob, the Forum Foil Hatters raged on for another page and a half.
Damn, it’s scary out there.